Today I had a real talk with my friend Sarah about mental illness and how frustrating it is when people misuse terms that are very real to people who suffer from severe mental health issues.
When we (yes, I am definitely guilty of this as well) use these phrases, not only do we completely ignore the actual issue at hand but we learn to gloss over the real problems that people face. By misusing, and over using, these phrases we are lessening the severity of the issues and further stigmatizing mental health in a society where we can't seem to stop.
This is really important to me because as I've written about before, I really struggle with a severe anxiety disorder and depression. And when I hear these things I feel like my mental health is a joke, which only makes it harder for me to both seek help and talk about what is often going on with me. It makes it even more upsetting to me that I find myself saying some of these things when I don't mean them. It is something that I really want to work on and want to invite you to join me in.
Here are SOME (not even close to all) of the phrases that I am talking about: (and of course, these phrases have appropriate uses, as in you actually feel a way or are struggling with said mental illness)
"I'm going to need therapy after this"--It's one of those phrases we find funny. But going to therapy is hard enough as it is. To joke about it only makes it that much harder.
"I'm so ADD/ADHD/OCD right now"--We do not all have these mental illness, but if we all suffered from them to the extent of which we wrongly use these terms the world would be a scary place. We all have trouble focusing, we all get restless, we all like things to be in some degree of order, but these mental health issues are more severe than that and by using them in such common place, we invalidate those who actually suffer from them.
"I had an anxiety attack over it"--This one is really hard. It is totally possible to have anxiety about something without having an anxiety disorder. But Anxiety attacks normally only happen if you suffer from an anxiety disorder. It's important to know the difference.
"I'd rather kill myself"--Using this phrase is highly problematic yet most of us have said it. Of course we don't mean that we would rather take our own life than do some activity or go somewhere or talk to someone, yet that is exactly what we say. When we over hear this phrase it gives us permission to not take people seriously when they say that and we also start laughing at it. Suicide is no laughing matter, as we all know, yet we are quick to giggle when it's used off-handedly.
"I'm so depressed"--used a lot to mean very sad. But depression is so much more than sadness. It's something that eats at you and slowly takes away who you are. So when people say they are so depressed about something, it allows us to see depression as something less than the disease it actually is.
"It gave me a panic attack"--Did it? Or did it make you nervous? Because those are two very different things. Panic attacks are disabling bouts of severe anxiety. Getting nervous (or even really nervous) over something is not a panic attack.
We tend to see these phrases as harmless since they are so commonplace in our conversations.
But if we really want to fight stigmatization we have to stop using them so nonchalantly.
I am pledging to cut these words/phrases out of my vocabulary (accept when they are true ). Will you join me?
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