Now, I normally don't pay any attention to comments that are made like that but this one really irked me. I couldn't let it go all night and have been thinking of all sorts of things I would like to say to that man.
To the man who called me a princess at the bar,
First of all, thank you. I'm glad you noticed the air of dignity and importance that I carry around with me at all times. If my posture was impeccable and my manners superb, I'm glad you caught on to the fact that I am indeed royalty. And I didn't even have to wear my tiara.
I guess my dead giveaway was the pink bandanna I had tied around my head, clearly a sign of a "gay princess". If you hadn't noticed, all my friends two tables over (my ladies in waiting) were all wearing matching ones.
I guess you weren't thinking when you addressed me, as you forgot to bow to me and address me as your excellency as I passed by you. But I guess I shouldn't expect anything more from a poor peasant who only drinks Miller lite.
Now let's set one thing straight, no matter who runs the royal court, it is not your place nor mine to comment on someone that we don't know, especially when making assumptions about complete strangers. I don't know if you didn't think I would hear you or if you thought I wouldn't care, but I wanted you to know that I did hear you and I do care.
Why does it matter, you may ask.
Because ignorance is what still keeps frightened teenagers in the closet. The closet is a safe space where they are free to be themselves without fear of being belittled and called names when trying to make their way through a bar. Perhaps "gay princess" was the jeer that they heard every day from the kids they went to high school with, or that they found scrawled across their gym locker junior year or even from their own father as they found each day they went on living harder and harder and more and more dangerous.
It is what makes it so difficult for athletes to come out because we make a huge celebration of something that should be normalized and then make fun of the way they kick, or throw the ball and drop them from two teams and then from life all together.
It's what makes people suppress and suppress until they feel like they are no longer worth the fight and they attempt to take their own life and either succeed or fail and realize that they have to keep going in a world that does not accept them.
It matters because it's small comments like this that people hear everyday that make it not safe and not okay to be who they are and to express themselves the way they want too.
I'm sorry if my pink bandanna offended you on a personal level or if because I said excuse me instead of pushing my way through your friends gave you some personal vendetta against me.
But please think before you speak because your words have a huge effect on those around you. When you see someone in a bar who may not look like your man's man, let's start by respecting those who can express themselves and try everyday to be strong and let words like your's roll off their backs and not take them back to a place where they are not welcome.
Sincerely,
Andrew
