Never Tell Someone to "Move On" When They Lose Someone They Love

These past two months have been a whirlwind of emotions. I lost one of my best friends; a member of my OG squad. Someone that meant the world to me. Someone who left me notes in my dorm room when she visited. Someone who drew me pictures at camp to remind me that I was loved. Someone who googled Sandra Day O'Connor at 3am with me and neither one of us have a recollection of why.

Needless to say, this loss has been hard on me and hard on the other people who loved her just as much. It has dominated a lot of my thoughts, my decisions, my pictures, my tweets, and sometimes my conversations. And sometimes that's okay. Sometimes I need to talk about it and let it out. I want to remember the good times I've had with her and keep her memory alive.

Today, someone made a comment to me that it seemed to be all I talked about and that I should "move on" with my life. "You talk about it too much and it's annoying. What about the rest of us that are still here?" (exact words)

At first, I was angry and then I thought about it and thought that maybe this person was right. Do I pay attention to my other friends/family memembers lives?

But the more I sat on it, the more I realized how heinous this comment was.

While this has been a major part of my life recently, it's perfectly normal to still talk about it, and post pictures and miss her. She was a huge part of my life for 5 years. That will never change. She will always be the first friend I made at camp, my camp wife, my official Taco Bell Date, the person who approved all of my significant others, face timed with me so I didn't have to drive by myself, even though she couldn't hear half of what I was saying.

But, losing her made me realize how lucky I am to have the people I have in my life. I've learned how to love harder, be more vocal with how I feel about people, say I love you more, hug tighter, and treat each moment as a gift. I now remind people that they are important to me, reach out to people when times are tough and just say I love you because that's all you can do. I try harder to be there for people, praise their accomplishments, help them up if they fall, or bash their exes because that's what they need. I hold them a little tighter on the bad days, I try harder to be there for them when they need me becasue it has taught me about my priorities.

And most of all, I love unconditionally. I give all my love to those I love because every moment I get with them is a gift, a gift that can be taken at any moment.

So yes, I will still talk about her, and yes, when I find pictures she's drawn for me or vines of us driving on the grass, or pictures of the two of us I will post them on social media, and yes, I will tweet that I still miss her and think about her, and yes I will visit her everytime I'm home, and yes I will definitely hold her memory close to my heart. I will still be reminded of her everytime I drive because she helped name her. I will think of her every time I pass a Taco Bell because we used to celebrate TBT (Taco Bell Thursday). I will get her handwriting tattooed on my arm as a constant physical reminder that she is always with me. I will talk to her when I drive. I will see her in the sunset and in McDonald's french fries. Wing Night will always be date night.

But I will never move on.

When you lose someone you love, you shouldn't ever move on. Grief stays with you for a long time and manifests in many ways. And somedays seem easier while other's make you want to sleep all day.

So please be cautious when talking with people. Remember how words affect everyone differently, just as loss does and remember that it is okay to keep their memory alive while you keep living.