And Then I Stopped Talking About It: My Privilege Kept Me Quiet

Many of us have been shaken by the video that emerged from the pool party in McKinney, Texas this weekend. If you haven't seen it, here is the link, but fair warning, it's pretty graphic (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpWP8aMcOo8).

While I could go on and on talking about the many problems in this video, I really want to focus on something a little different. Privilege. This has gotten me staring in the eyes of my privilege, questioning how I can use it to make a difference.

Like most young adults, social media is a major part of my life. When I first saw this video on Sunday night, I immediately shared in on my Facebook and tweeted that I was horrified.

And then I stopped talking about it.

All of Monday, I worked. I worked on spreadsheets, I bar tended, I watch the US vs. Australia women's soccer game, I watched the Blackhawks play the Lightning, and all throughout this, I was active on social media. Here are just some the posts I made:

I sent the following link to a friend:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/rugby-war-goddess#.otzzWNNMm2

Thing I worried about:

-the Pad Thai I wanted for lunch, 

-whether or not I would get wet when I walked outside and if it would ruin my computer.

-someone not texting me back. 

-baby pandas not making it to the tree in a youtube video

-who would win a hockey game. 

Here is what I didn't worry about:

-Getting thrown to the ground and being held down by a man twice my size

-Walking through Target and getting followed

-Seeing a cop and feeling like I've done something wrong just for being there

-Being in the wrong place at the wrong time, even if I was invited there 

So why didn't I worry about these things? It's simple, really.

I didn't have to. 

I don't have to. I will never understand what it's like to feel those things or to worry about those things because of the color of my skin. There may be instances in my life where I'm put into one of these situations, yes, but it is not an every day fear I have. And if I ever do find myself in a position like this, it will never be because of the color of my skin.

If I was there, at that pool party, I would have been treated like the white teen filming the whole incident. The one who was also clearly ignoring police instructions to stay on the other side of the road, yet was allowed to roam free and video tape. Never once was he touched, forced to the ground or handcuffed. Never once was he questioned by, or used to make an example by that officer. 

So what can I do about it? I'm not sure. I know I can recognize it and that is the first step. But it's using that privilege to do something that matters. 

Instead of making the obligatory post with the video and my outrage at the situation and a single tweet about how horrified I was, I should have kept talking about it.

Instead of tweeting about how much anxiety read receipts give me, I should have tweeted about how much anxiety Dejerria Becton had and would continue to have.

Instead of tweeting about not being able to sleep I should have tweeted about the nightmares these teenagers who had a gun pulled on them would have for the rest of their lives.

Instead of links about women's rugby I should have shared the links talking about how race was a major player in this incident. 

Instead of staying silent, I should have kept talking.